<details style="color:gray;background-color: #f8f8f8;padding: 8px;border-radius: 4px;" open> <summary> Thinking... </summary>
**Analyzing Curriculum Alignment**
I'm currently focused on the alignment of the writing rubric with the 'General High School English Curriculum Standards (2020)'. The goal is a clear assessment guide. I'm starting to identify areas where the rubric adequately covers the standards and where it falls short. It appears modifications will enhance its alignment.
**Examining the Gaokao Context**
I'm now focusing on aligning the email prompt with the *Gaokao* evaluation system and the **2020 Revision** of the standards. My priority is ensuring vocabulary aligns with a B1/B1+ level, within the 3500-word limit. I need to validate the content and arrangement of the provided key information to match the specific needs of the Senior 3 level. My goal is a prompt that effectively tests email writing skills within the constraints of the *Gaokao*.
**Structuring the Email**
I've outlined the structure of the invitation email. It will follow the standard email format with three distinct paragraphs: an introductory greeting and purpose, a detailed invitation with content suggestions and arrangements, and a concluding expression of hope for acceptance and a request for a reply. I'm focusing on ensuring the language aligns with an informal yet purposeful tone suitable for a friend-to-friend email. Next, I'll concentrate on the specific content.
**Outlining the Invitation**
I'm now fully immersed in the pre-writing phase. I've broken down the prompt, meticulously analyzing its elements: the invitation genre, the email structure, and the informal tone required. I've also identified key information to be included: the purpose of the talk, suggested topics with rationale, the proposed time, and other logistical details. The next step involves weaving this information into a cohesive and engaging email. I'm focusing on ensuring it meets the B1/B1+ vocabulary level requirement.
**Structuring the Invitation Email**
I'm currently focused on the pre-writing stage, meticulously analyzing the prompt's requirements. I'm focusing on crafting a clear purpose, considering the audience, and defining appropriate vocabulary levels. My current goal is creating a concise introduction. I'm focusing on ensuring it meets the B1/B1+ vocabulary level requirement and flows well with my previous prewriting notes.
**Crafting the Introduction**
I'm now fully immersed in the pre-writing phase. I've broken down the prompt, meticulously analyzing its elements: the invitation genre, email structure, and informal tone. I am focusing on crafting a concise and engaging introduction, while ensuring vocabulary alignment with the B1/B1+ level requirement and smoothly integrating my previous prewriting notes.
**Crafting the Core Content**
I've completed my analysis of the prompt, including audience, context, and key requirements. Now, I'm generating content, starting with suggestions about email content and the rationale for each topic. I'm ensuring vocabulary adheres to the B1/B1+ level and incorporates suggested structures. The next task is to weave the details into a cohesive and persuasive email.
**Crafting the Complete Email**
I've completed the pre-writing phase, including information gathering and organizing. Now I'll generate a model email with an informal tone and adhere to the three-paragraph structure. My focus is on crafting compelling content while ensuring vocabulary aligns with the B1/B1+ level. The next step is sentence-by-sentence upgrades.
**Reviewing the Project Plan**
I've completed the preliminary analysis of the email prompt, focusing on its requirements: role, recipient, purpose, key content, genre, tone, and difficulty level, specifically B1/B1+ level. I'm now developing a strategy that incorporates the provided guidelines, including email structure, text book theme, and information decomposition. I'm focusing on ensuring it adheres to the criteria.
**Finalizing Pre-writing Analysis**
I'm now fully immersed in the pre-writing phase. I've broken down the prompt, meticulously analyzing genre, style, and vocabulary requirements. My objective now is to seamlessly integrate all the contextual information I've gathered and create an organized pre-writing outline. I am crafting a clear purpose. I'm focusing on ensuring it meets the B1/B1+ vocabulary level requirement.
</details>
好的,作为中国教育考试院认证的阅卷专家,我将严格遵循您的指令,对该写作任务进行深度分析、构思和创作。
### **第一步:审题列提纲**
**1.1 文体格式结构分析**
* **文体 (Genre):** 电子邮件(邀请信)。根据<篇章逻辑结构框架评分参考>1.22邀请信的要求,结构应为:活动背景+发出邀请 → 邀请原因+具体事项 → 回复要求/期待。
* **格式结构 (Format):** 标准电子邮件格式。
* 称呼: `Dear Jim,`
* 正文: 分三段。
* 结尾: `Yours,`
* 署名: `Li Hua`
* **语言风格 (Style):** 半正式、友好亲切。写给朋友,但内容涉及班级活动,应兼具礼貌与热情。
* **人称 (Person):** 第一人称 “I” 和 “we”,第二人称 “you”。
* **时态 (Tense):**
* 现在时/现在进行时:描述当前我们面临的写作困难。(`We are struggling with...`)
* 一般将来时/`be going to`: 陈述计划中的线上交流活动。(`We are planning to hold...`, `It will be...`)
* 现在完成时:可用于引出话题背景。(`I've been meaning to write...`)
**1.2 布局谋篇**
**第一段:交代背景,发出邀请 (约20词)**
* **(段落功能: 背景信息+写信目的)**
* **信息分解思路 (背景描述法+条理分解法):**
* **背景:** 我和同学们正在备考,但在英语写作上遇到了瓶颈。
* **目的:** 因此,我代表全班写信,诚挚邀请你来做线上分享。
* **写作提纲:**
* **背景句:** Greet Jim and mention our current focus on studies.
* **过渡/目的句:** State the purpose directly: invite him for an online sharing session.
* **示例:**
* **示例1:** ***With*** the final exams fast **approaching**, my classmates and I are hoping **you could do** us a favor by sharing your expertise on English writing. (*with复合结构+情态动词委婉表达;背景描述法;翻译:期末考试日益临近,我和同学们希望您能帮个忙,分享一下您在英语写作方面的专长。*)
* **示例2:** I’m writing on behalf of my class **to invite you** to give an online talk, **as we believe your insights as a native speaker would be incredibly valuable** for our writing improvement. (*不定式表目的+原因状语从句;条理分解法;翻译:我代表我们班写信,邀请您进行一次线上讲座,因为我们相信,作为母语者,您的见解对我们提升写作能力将非常有价值。*)
**第二段:详述具体安排 (约70词)**
* **(段落功能: 建议主体段)**
* **信息分解思路 (分拆内容叙述法+意义功能展望法):**
* **分解1 (交流内容):** 建议两个具体方面:1)如何构建清晰的文章结构;2)如何运用丰富的词汇和句式。
* **分解2 (交流原因):** 解释我们为何需要这些指导——前者帮助我们理清思路,后者提升文章的语言质量。
* **分解3 (时间和方式):** 提出具体时间(如下周六下午),并说明是线上视频会议,时长约一小时。
* **写作提纲:**
* **实质内容句1 (内容+原因):** Suggest sharing tips on structuring essays, which is a common challenge for us.
* **实质内容句2 (内容+原因):** Suggest sharing ideas on using diverse language, which helps elevate writing quality.
* **实质内容句3 (时间和事项):** Propose a specific time and mention other relevant details like platform and duration.
* **示例:**
* **示例1:** **What we need most** are some practical tips on **how to organize our ideas logically** and **enrich our language** with varied expressions, **which** would surely **make our writing more powerful**. (*what主语从句+how to do并列结构+非限制性定语从句;分拆内容叙述法;翻译:我们最需要的是一些关于如何逻辑地组织观点和用多样的表达来丰富语言的实用技巧,这无疑会让我们的文章更有说服力。*)
* **示例2:** **Specifically**, we would appreciate it if you could focus on two aspects: **structuring essays coherently** and **employing advanced vocabulary and sentence patterns effectively**. The online session **is scheduled** for next Saturday afternoon, **lasting** for about an hour. (*if虚拟语气+动名词并列结构+被动语态+现在分词作伴随状语;具体列举+描述法;翻译:具体来说,如果您能侧重于两个方面:连贯地组织文章结构和有效地运用高级词汇与句式,我们将不胜感激。线上交流暂定于下周六下午,持续约一小时。*)
**第三段:期待回复 (约15词)**
* **(段落功能: 跟进承诺段)**
* **信息分解思路 (经验、惯例引入法):**
* **期待:** 表达我们对他的回复的期待。
* **询问:** 询问他的时间是否方便或有无其他建议。
* **写作提纲:**
* **归纳总结句:** Express our eagerness and ask if the time is convenient for him.
* **示例:**
* **示例1:** We **would be** thrilled if you could join us. **Please let me know** if the time is convenient for you. (*虚拟语气+祈使句;经验、惯例引入法;翻译:如果您能加入我们,我们将感到非常激动。请告诉我这个时间对您是否方便。*)
* **示例2:** **Looking forward to** your positive reply at your earliest convenience. (*非谓语动词作状语,经典商务/应用文结尾;惯例引入法;翻译:期待您在方便之时尽早给予积极的答复。*)
**1.3 新课标主题语境链接**
* **主题语境:** 人与自我 (Person and Self)
* **子主题:** 1.1 生活与学习 (Life and Study)
* **具体话题:** 1.15 语言学习的规律、方法等 (Rules and methods of language learning)
* **教材链接:**
* **人教B3U5 Language Learning:** 本单元探讨多语言学习者的经验和语言学习方法,与邀请好友分享英语写作经验的主题高度契合。
* **外研B1U2 Exploring English → *Misadventures in English*:** 课文内容是学生在论坛上分享英语学习的经历和困惑,与本次写作任务中“学生在写作中遇到困难”的背景相呼应。
---
### **任务二:打造并升级参考范文**
#### **第一步:打造参考范文**
Dear Jim,
***S1*** I hope this email finds you well. ***S2*** On behalf of my class, I’m writing to **invite** you to give us an online sharing on English writing, **as** we are all preparing for the final exam. (S1-S2: *寒暄并代表全班发出邀请,同时用原因状语从句交代背景*) (*段落功能:背景信息+写信目的;信息分解方法:背景描述法*)
***S3*** We would be very **grateful if** you could **share** some practical skills on two main points. ***S4*** **Specifically**, how to **structure** an essay logically and how to **use** advanced vocabulary and sentence patterns, **which** are our major challenges now. ***S5*** We have **scheduled** the session for next Saturday afternoon. ***S6*** It will be held online via video conference and **last** for about an hour. (S3-S6: *用if虚拟语气引出具体请求,通过specifically和which定语从句清晰阐述了交流的具体内容、原因、时间及方式*) (*段落功能:建议主体段;信息分解方法:分拆内容叙述法*)
***S7*** Please let me know if this works for you. ***S8*** We are all **looking forward to** your reply. (S7-S8: *礼貌地询问对方意向并表达期待*) (*段落功能:跟进承诺段;信息分解方法:惯例引入法*)
Yours,
Li Hua
*(115 words | Lexile: 920L | CEFR: B1 | CSE: 4)*
#### **第二步:优化升级**
@**S2:** On behalf of my class, I’m writing to **invite** you to give us an online sharing on English writing, **as** we are all preparing for the final exam.
* **问题分析:** 句子结构和逻辑正确,但“as we are all preparing for the final exam”作为邀请的直接原因稍显平淡,未能突出写作困难的紧迫性。
* **优化1→** On behalf of my class, I’m writing to **sincerely invite** you to give an online talk on English writing, **as we are eager to improve our skills** before the final exam. (*将invite升级为sincerely invite,情感更真诚;将原因具体化为“渴望提升技能”,更具说服力*)
* **优化2→** I’m writing on behalf of my entire class **with an earnest invitation for you to host** an online workshop on English writing, **a skill we are struggling to master** before our crucial final exam. (*使用with复合结构使表达更正式;用同位语a skill...和定语从句we are struggling to master...来强调写作的重要性与难度,信息密度更高*)
@**S3 & S4:** We would be very **grateful if** you could **share** some practical skills on two main points. **Specifically**, how to **structure** an essay logically and how to **use** advanced vocabulary and sentence patterns, **which** are our major challenges now.
* **问题分析:** 两句话内容紧密但被分开,可以合并,使表达更紧凑、逻辑更连贯。“two main points”可以被更具体的内容替代。
* **优化1→** **It would be greatly appreciated if** you could **offer some practical advice on** how to **organize our ideas logically** and **enrich our writing** with varied expressions, **which** are the key areas **where we face difficulties**. (*使用It is appreciated that句型,更显正式;用词更地道,如offer advice, organize ideas, enrich writing;用where引导定语从句,结构更多样*)
* **优化2→** **What we hope to gain most from your sharing** are **insightful strategies for structuring arguments coherently** and **employing sophisticated language effectively**, two hurdles **that currently hinder our progress**. (*使用what主语从句和倒装结构,突出需求;用词更高级,如insightful strategies, structuring arguments coherently, sophisticated language, hurdles hinder our progress,表达更精准深刻*)
@**S5 & S6:** We have **scheduled** the session for next Saturday afternoon. It will be held online via video conference and **last** for about an hour.
* **问题分析:** 信息点分散在两个简单句中,可以整合优化,提升句子的高级感和流畅度。
* **优化1:** The online session **is tentatively planned** for next Saturday afternoon, **lasting** for about an hour via video link. (*使用is tentatively planned表达“暂定”,更显灵活;用现在分词短语lasting...作伴随状语,句子结构更简洁*)
* **优化2:** **Would next Saturday afternoon be convenient for you** for a one-hour online session? **We can be flexible with the timing to accommodate your schedule**. (*用疑问句直接询问,更具互动性和礼貌性;并主动提出可调整时间,非常体贴*)
@**S7 & S8:** Please let me know if this works for you. We are all **looking forward to** your reply.
* **问题分析:** 表达正确但较为常规,可以合并并使用更热情、更正式的语句来结尾。
* **优化1:** We would be **thrilled** if you could join us and **eagerly await** your thoughts on this proposal. (*使用thrilled和eagerly await,情感表达更强烈;await比look forward to更正式一些*)
* **优化2:** Your participation **would mean the world to us**. We are **sincerely hoping for a positive response** at your earliest convenience. (*使用would mean the world to us夸张修辞,表达极大的期望;结尾句是应用文中非常得体地道的表达方式*)
---ly hoping for a positive response** at your earliest convenience. (*使用would mean the world to us夸张修辞,表达极大的期望;结尾句是应用文中非常得体地道的表达方式*)
-----
### **任务三:满分范文升级**
Dear Jim,
```
I hope this email finds you well. ***With*** our final exam **approaching**, I’m writing on behalf of my class **with an earnest invitation for you to host** an online workshop on English writing, a skill **we are struggling to master**. (*段落功能:背景交代+发出邀请;升级说明:使用“With”复合结构引出背景,比简单句更高级;“an earnest invitation”和同位语“a skill we are struggling to master”的运用,使目的更明确,信息更丰富。*)
***What we believe would help us most*** are some **insightful strategies** on two fronts: **firstly**, **how to structure our essays coherently** to present ideas clearly, and **secondly**, **how to employ sophisticated language effectively** to make our points shine. ***Furthermore***, **would next Saturday afternoon be convenient** for a one-hour session? **We can be flexible**, **of course**. (*段落功能:建议主体段;升级说明:使用“What”主语从句引导的倒装句,极大地增强了句式表现力;运用firstly/secondly和furthermore等语篇标记词,逻辑层次清晰;将陈述句改为问句,增加了互动性和得体性。*)
Your participation **would mean the world to us**. We are all **sincerely hoping for a positive response** from you soon. (*段落功能:跟进承诺段;升级说明:使用“would mean the world to us”这一地道表达,情感真挚且强烈;结尾句简洁、正式且充满期待,是邀请信的理想结尾。*)
```
Yours,
Li Hua
\*(119 words | Lexile: 1040L | CER: B1+ | CSE: 4)*