第一步:审题列提纲
1.1文体格式结构→建议信(回复邮件);语言风格→友好、建议性、鼓励性;人称→第一人称(李华)和第二人称(Jim);时态→一般现在时(陈述建议和理由)、将来时(展望Jim的创作)。
1.2信息提取
1.21核心信息:
1. 回复Jim的邮件,针对“美丽校园”原创作品征集活动给出建议。
2. 建议创作内容。
3. 就建议说明理由。
1.22隐藏信息:
1. Jim是交换生,可能对校园有独特的观察视角。
2. 作品是原创的,鼓励创新和个人特色。
3. 活动主题是“美丽校园”,内容应紧扣此主题。
1.3对1.2中信息整合优化:
文章结构为:感谢来信并乐于提供帮助 → 提出具体的创作内容建议(1-2项)→ 阐述各项建议的理由 → 鼓励并期待Jim的作品。
1.4布局谋篇
第一段:(背景交代+过渡)
* 背景交代:收到Jim的邮件,了解他想参加“美丽校园”作品征集活动。
* 过渡衔接:表示乐意提供建议。
→话题词汇:**delighted**, **participate**, **original works**, **contest**, **suggestions**
示例1→**I'm delighted to hear** that you're **planning to participate** in our "Beautiful Campus" **original works contest** and I'd be **happy to offer some suggestions**. ( *动名词作宾语+不定式作目的状语,背景描述法;翻译→我很高兴得知你计划参加我校的“美丽校园”原创作品征集活动,并且乐意提供一些建议。*)
示例2→**It's great** that you're interested in the "Beautiful Campus" **event**, and **I've got a few ideas** that might **spark your creativity**. ( *it作形式主语+定语从句,具体列举+描述法;翻译→你对“美丽校园”活动感兴趣真是太好了,我有一些或许能激发你创意的想法。*)
示例3→**Thanks for your email!** Understanding you want to **join the "Beautiful Campus" submission**, I’m **eager to share some thoughts** with you. ( *现在分词作原因状语,条理分解法;翻译→感谢你的邮件!了解到你想参加“美丽校园”作品征集,我非常乐意与你分享一些想法。*)
第二段(主体段:实质内容+拓展支撑)
* 建议创作内容1:拍摄校园特定景点的照片或短视频。
* 理由1:作为交换生,Jim的视角独特,能发现不同的美。
* 理由2:照片/视频能直观展现校园的美丽瞬间。
* 建议创作内容2:写一篇短文或诗歌。
* 理由1:可以表达对校园的感受和情感。
* 理由2:展现文学才华。
→话题词汇:**capture**, **unique perspective**, **scenic spots**, **vibrant life**, **express feelings**, **literary talent**, **showcase**
示例1→You could **capture** some **iconic views** of our campus, **such as** the library at sunset or the bustling school gate in the morning, **highlighting** their unique charm. ( *动名词作主语+such as列举+现在分词作结果状语,具体列举+描述法;翻译→你可以拍摄一些校园的标志性景色,比如日落时的图书馆或者早晨熙熙攘攘的校门口,以此突出它们独特的魅力。*)
示例2→**What about creating** a short video **documenting** a typical day or a special event on campus? This would **vividly showcase** the **dynamic atmosphere** and your **personal experience** here. ( *特殊疑问句提建议+现在分词作定语,分拆内容叙述法;翻译→制作一个记录校园里平常一天或特殊活动的短视频怎么样?这将生动地展示校园的活力氛围和你在这里的个人体验。*)
示例3→**Alternatively**, **penning a short essay or a poem** about what **impresses you most** about our school – perhaps its **welcoming atmosphere** or a **memorable encounter** – would be **a wonderful way** to share your **insights**. ( *penning...作主语+what引导的宾语从句+破折号补充说明,同类内容延展法;翻译→或者,写一篇关于我们学校最让你印象深刻之处的短文或诗歌——也许是它热情的氛围或一次难忘的邂逅——这将是分享你见解的绝佳方式。*)
第三段(结语段)→鼓励+期待
* 归纳总结:鼓励Jim根据自己的兴趣和特长选择。
* 积极展望:期待看到他的作品。
→话题词汇:**inspire**, **look forward to**, **masterpiece**, **creativity**
示例1→**Hopefully**, these suggestions can **spark some inspiration for you**. I **eagerly anticipate seeing** your creative submission! ( *副词hopefully开头+anticipate doing sth.,意义功能展望法;翻译→希望这些建议能给你带来一些灵感。我热切期待看到你富有创意的作品!*)
示例2→**Whatever you choose to create**, I'm sure it will be **a fantastic contribution** to the event. **Best of luck** with your creation! ( *whatever引导的让步状语从句,经验、惯例引入法;翻译→无论你选择创作什么,我相信它都将是对这次活动的精彩贡献。祝你创作顺利!*)
示例3→**Ultimately**, the best choice is **what resonates most with your artistic vision**. **Can't wait to see** your entry! ( *what引导的表语从句,反向描述法(强调主观选择);翻译→最终,最好的选择是与你艺术构想最能产生共鸣的那个。迫不及待想看到你的参赛作品!*)
1.5新课标主题语境→人与自我(生活与学习)→子话题:1.11 个人、家庭、社区及学校生活 →教材链接:人教B1U1 Teenage Life (*THE FRESHMAN CHALLENGE* 涉及校园活动); 译林B1U1 Back to school (*School life in the UK* 涉及交换生视角与校园生活)。
###任务二:打造并升级参考范文
##第一步:打造参考范文
Dear Jim,
I'm **delighted** you're interested in our "Beautiful Campus" **original works contest**! ***Since*** you asked for suggestions, I have a couple of ideas that might **appeal to** you. (段落功能: 背景交代句和过渡句,回应对方邮件并引出建议; 信息分解方法: 背景描述法)
***Firstly***, you could **capture** the **beauty** of our campus through photography or a short video. Perhaps focus on some **lesser-known spots** or the **vibrant student life** from your **unique perspective** as an exchange student. ***Secondly***, writing a poem or a short essay expressing your feelings about our school could also be **a wonderful choice**, **showcasing** your **literary talent** and personal reflections. (段落功能: 实质内容句,提出具体建议并阐述理由; 信息分解方法: 具体列举+描述法,意义功能展望法)
***Ultimately***, **choose whatever** **inspires** you most. I’m **really looking forward to seeing** your **creative work**! (段落功能: 归纳总结句,鼓励并表达期待; 信息分解方法: 经验、惯例引入法)
Yours,
Li Hua
*(110 words | 蓝思值: 约850L | CEFR: B1 | 话题词汇密度: 较高)*
##第二步:满分范文升级
Dear Jim,
I'm **thrilled** you’re **keen on participating** in our "Beautiful Campus" **original works campaign**! ***Given*** your interest, I’d **gladly offer** a couple of thoughts that you might find **engaging**. (段落功能: 背景交代句和过渡句,更积极地回应并引出建议; 信息分解方法: 背景描述法)
***Initially***, you could **immortalize** the campus’s **charm** via photographs or a brief film. Consider **highlighting** some **hidden gems** or the **dynamic student interactions** through your **distinct viewpoint** as an exchange student. ***Alternatively***, **crafting** a poem or a concise essay to convey your sentiments about our school environment would be an **excellent option**, **demonstrating** your **artistic flair** and deep insights. (段落功能: 实质内容句,用词更生动,强化建议的吸引力; 信息分解方法: 具体列举+描述法,意义功能展望法)
***In the end***, **opt for whatever** truly **resonates with you**. I’m **eagerly anticipating** your **imaginative masterpiece**! (段落功能: 归纳总结句,用词更富期待感; 信息分解方法: 经验、惯例引入法)
Yours,
Li Hua
*(116 words | 蓝思值: 约920L | CEFR: B1+ | 话题词汇密度: 非常高)*
**高级语法结构及信息分解方式批注:**
1. **第一段:**
* `I'm thrilled you’re keen on participating...`: `thrilled` (更强烈的积极情感), `keen on doing sth.` (习语,表达强烈兴趣)。
* `Given your interest,...`: `Given` (介词,考虑到),引导原因状语。
* `I’d gladly offer a couple of thoughts that you might find engaging`: `that`引导定语从句,`engaging` (更具吸引力)。
* 信息分解方法: 背景描述法 (交代收到对方请求并乐于提供帮助)。
2. **第二段:**
* `Initially,... Alternatively,...`: 清晰的逻辑连接词。
* `immortalize the campus’s charm via photographs or a brief film`: `immortalize` (使不朽,生动描绘), `via` (通过), `brief film` (简短影片)。
* `Consider highlighting some hidden gems...`: `Consider doing sth.`, `highlighting` (强调), `hidden gems` (隐藏的珍宝,比喻独特美好的地方)。
* `dynamic student interactions`: 更具体的描述。
* `distinct viewpoint`: 独特的视角。
* `crafting a poem or a concise essay to convey your sentiments...`: `crafting` (精心制作,动名词作主语), `concise essay` (简洁的散文), `convey your sentiments` (表达你的情感)。
* `excellent option`: 绝佳选择。
* `demonstrating your artistic flair and deep insights`: `demonstrating` (现在分词作结果状语), `artistic flair` (艺术才华), `deep insights` (深刻见解)。
* 信息分解方法: 具体列举+描述法 (列举创作形式和具体内容,并描述其特点); 意义功能展望法 (阐述这些创作方式能达到的效果和展现的才能)。
3. **第三段:**
* `In the end, opt for whatever truly resonates with you`: `opt for` (选择), `whatever`引导名词性从句作宾语, `resonates with you` (与你产生共鸣)。
* `I’m eagerly anticipating your imaginative masterpiece!`: `eagerly anticipating` (热切期待), `imaginative masterpiece` (富有想象力的杰作)。
* 信息分解方法: 经验、惯例引入法 (鼓励对方遵从内心选择,并表达美好祝愿)。