好的,阅卷专家。我将遵循您的所有指令,完成这项写作指导任务。
### **第一步:审题列提纲**
**1.1 审题分析**
* **文体格式结构** → 邀请信(邮件)。根据<篇章逻辑结构框架评分参考1.22>,结构应为:**活动背景+发出邀请 → 邀请原因+具体事项 → 回复要求/期待**。
* **语言风格** → 半正式、友好亲切。写给同学Jim,应体现热情和真诚。
* **人称** → 第一人称(I, we)和第二人称(you)。
* **时态** → **将来时**(描述活动,如 The event **will feature**...)和**一般现在时**(发出邀请,如 I'm writing **to invite**...)。理由是活动尚未发生,而邀请正在进行。
**1.2 新课标主题语境**
* **主题语境** → **人与社会**
* **子主题及话题** → **主题群2.3 历史社会与文化** → **子话题2.36 不同民族文化习俗与传统节日**。本次毕业季活动以“传承”为主题,旨在传递校园精神与文化传统,这与文化习俗的传承紧密相关。同时,邀请交换生参与,也涉及**子话题2.13 跨文化沟通、包容与合作**。
* **教材链接** → **人教版B3U1 Festivals and Celebrations** 中的课文 ***WHY DO WE CELEBRATE FESTIVALS?***,该文探讨了节日的文化意义和社会功能,与本次“传承”主题活动的核心思想——通过仪式性活动传递价值与精神——高度契合。
**1.3 信息提取与整合优化**
* **核心信息**:
* **写信人**:李华
* **收信人**:交换生Jim
* **事由**:邀请参加“传承”主题毕业季活动
* **时间**:6月18日
* **内容**:活动内容;其他相关事项。
* **隐藏信息挖掘与整合**:
* **邀请Jim的特殊意义**:作为交换生,这是他体验和理解中国校园文化,特别是毕业季这一特殊传统的宝贵机会。这可以作为邀请的有力理由。
* **“传承”主题的具体化**:需要构思能体现“传承”精神的具体活动。例如:
1. **学长经验传承**:高三学生向低年级学生赠送笔记、分享学习心得。
2. **校园文化传承**:表演与学校历史或传统相关的节目(如校歌合唱、传统才艺展示)。
3. **情感与记忆传承**:“时间胶囊”封存仪式,将写给未来的信或有纪念意义的物品封存起来。
* **“其他相关事项”的具体化**:应包括准确的活动时间、地点,以及对Jim参与的期待和回复请求(RSVP)。
**1.4 布局谋篇**
* **第一段:活动背景 + 发出邀请**
* **分解思路**:(背景描述法) 先点明毕业季的背景,然后直接、热情地发出邀请。
* **话题词汇**:graduation season, approaching, themed event, cordially invite
* **示例1**:With our graduation season fast approaching, our grade is hosting a special event themed "Inheritance" on June 18th, and **I'm writing to cordially invite you to join the celebration**. (*用with复合结构引出背景,使开篇更具场景感;不定式短语清晰说明写信目的。*)
* **示例2**:As graduation is just around the corner, **I would be thrilled if you could participate in** our upcoming event, **which is themed "Inheritance"** and will be held on June 18th. (*用as时间状语从句+虚拟语气发出邀请,语气更诚挚;which非限制性定语从句补充说明主题,结构丰富。*)
* **第二段:活动内容 + 其他相关事项**
* **分解思路**:(具体列举+描述法) 清晰列举1-2项核心活动,并阐释其与“传承”主题的关联。然后明确告知具体的时间和地点。
* **话题词汇**:feature, pass on, learning experiences, cultural performances, showcase, school auditorium
* **示例1**:The event, **kicking off** at 2:00 PM in the school auditorium, will feature several meaningful activities, **including** a session **where** seniors **pass on** their study notes to younger students and cultural performances **showcasing** our traditions. (*现在分词作状语和定语、where引导的定语从句,结构多样,信息紧凑;信息分解方法:具体列举+描述法。*)
* **示例2**:**Scheduled for** 2:00 PM in the school auditorium, the event **is designed to** celebrate our legacy. **One key part involves** seniors sharing valuable learning experiences, **while another highlight is** a cultural show **that reflects** our school's spirit. (*过去分词作状语、involves doing、while并列结构及定语从句,句式灵活多变,逻辑清晰;信息分解方法:分拆内容叙述法。*)
* **第三段:强调意义 + 期待回复**
* **分解思路**:(意义功能展望法) 强调Jim的参与对于文化交流的特殊意义,并表达期待,最后礼貌地请求对方回复。
* **话题词汇**:cultural exchange, unique perspective, look forward to, let me know
* **示例1**:**It would be a fantastic opportunity for** cultural exchange, and we believe your presence would make it more memorable. **Please let me know if you can make it**. (*it is...for sb to do sth句型+请求回复,直接且得体;信息分解方法:意义功能展望法。*)
* **示例2**:Your participation would surely **add a special touch to the event**. **I'm really looking forward to** enjoying this special moment with you. (*无灵主语+固定搭配,表达更地道,情感更真挚;信息分解方法:经验、惯例引入法。*)
---
### **任务二:打造并升级参考范文**
#### **第一步:打造参考范文**
Dear Jim,
(S1) I hope you are doing well. I am writing to invite you to our grade's graduation event with the theme of "Inheritance" on June 18th. (段落功能:背景交代+发出邀请;信息分解方法:背景描述法)
(S2) The event starts at 2:00 PM in the school auditorium. (S3) It will have some activities, such as seniors sharing learning tips with junior students and performing traditional Chinese dances. (S4) I think these are great ways to pass on our school spirit. (段落功能:实质内容句;信息分解方法:具体列举+描述法)
(S5) It will be a good chance for you to experience our school culture. (S6) I hope you can come. Please let me know your answer. (段落功能:归纳总结句;信息分解方法:意义功能展望法)
Yours,
Li Hua
(105 words | 蓝思值: 780L | CEFR: B1- | 话题词汇密度: 40%)
#### **第二步:优化升级**
@S1→ I hope you are doing well. I am writing to invite you to our grade's graduation event with the theme of "Inheritance" on June 18th.
* **问题分析**:开篇寒暄与正文衔接略显生硬,"with the theme of" 表达稍显平淡。
* **优化1**→ **As our graduation is approaching,** I'm writing to **cordially invite** you to our special graduation event themed "Inheritance" on June 18th. (*使用as时间状语从句交代背景,使行文更流畅;cordially invite语气更正式、真诚。*)
* **优化2**→ With graduation just around the corner, our grade is hosting a meaningful event themed "Inheritance" on June 18th, and **I would be thrilled if you could join us**. (*使用with独立主格结构,句式更高级;虚拟语气使邀请更委婉、更具吸引力。*)
@S2 & S3→ The event starts at 2:00 PM in the school auditorium. It will have some activities, such as seniors sharing learning tips with junior students and performing traditional Chinese dances.
* **问题分析**:两个简单句显得松散,"have some activities"表述模糊,未能有效突出活动与主题的联系。
* **优化1**→ The event, **which kicks off** at 2:00 PM in the school auditorium, will **feature various activities like** seniors **passing on** study notes and performing traditional dances. (*使用非限制性定语从句整合信息,feature和pass on用词更准确,更贴合主题。*)
* **优化2**→ **Scheduled for** 2:00 PM in the school auditorium, the event **will showcase** our legacy through engaging activities. **You'll see** seniors **handing down** their learning experiences and a cultural show **celebrating** our traditions. (*使用过去分词作状语开头,简洁明了;showcase, hand down等词汇更生动;现在分词短语作定语,信息密度高。*)
@S4→ I think these are great ways to pass on our school spirit.
* **问题分析**:作为单独一句,略显多余,可与前文融合,使段落结构更紧凑。
* **优化1**→ These activities are **designed to pass on** our unique school spirit and traditions. (*融入前一句的描述后,使用be designed to句型,目的性更强,表达更地道。*)
* **优化2**→ All these activities serve **as a powerful symbol of our commitment to keeping** the school spirit alive for future generations. (*使用serve as...和commitment to doing...,将“传承”的意义升华,更具思想深度。*)
@S5→ It will be a good chance for you to experience our school culture.
* **问题分析**:表达正确但较为普通,未能突出邀请交换生的特殊意义。
* **优化1**→ **For you,** it would be a **fantastic opportunity** to get a deeper look into our campus life. (*使用for you强调对象,fantastic opportunity比good chance语气更强。*)
* **优化2**→ Your participation **would offer a unique window into** our campus culture and **foster greater cultural understanding.** (*使用offer a window into的比喻手法,更形象;foster cultural understanding则点明了跨文化交流的深层意义。*)
@S6→ I hope you can come. Please let me know your answer.
* **问题分析**:结尾直接,但略显平淡,可以更热情、更礼貌。
* **优化1**→ I **sincerely hope** you can make it. **Looking forward to your reply!** (*sincerely hope表达更真诚;分词短语结尾显得活泼且充满期待。*)
* **优化2**→ We would be honored by your presence. **Could you please let me know your availability at your earliest convenience?** (*使用被动语态和honor一词提升正式感和尊重度;疑问句请求回复比陈述句更委婉礼貌。*)
---
### **任务三:满分范文升级**
Dear Jim,
***With graduation just around the corner,*** our grade is hosting a meaningful event themed "Inheritance" on June 18th, and **I would be thrilled if you could join us**. (段落功能:背景交代+发出邀请;*运用with独立主格与虚拟语气,开篇即展现高阶句式与真挚情感*)
***Moreover,*** the event, **scheduled for** 2:00 PM in the school auditorium, **is designed to be** a memorable farewell. A key highlight **involves** seniors **passing on** their cherished study notes to younger students, **a gesture symbolizing the continuation of knowledge**. **Additionally,** there will be a cultural showcase **featuring** everything from calligraphy to folk music, **offering you a glimpse into our rich heritage.** (段落功能:实质内容句;*运用多种非谓语动词、同位语及丰富的衔接词,信息量大且逻辑层次分明,生动诠释“传承”主题*)
Your participation **would undoubtedly enrich the experience for everyone** and serve as a wonderful example of cultural exchange. **Looking forward to celebrating** this special moment with you! (段落功能:归纳总结句;*运用无灵主语和升华主题的表达,结尾使用分词短语,简洁有力,充满期待*)
Yours,
Li Hua
**(118 words | 蓝思值: 1020L | CEFR: B2- | 话题词汇密度: 55%)**