<details style="color:gray;background-color: #f8f8f8;padding: 8px;border-radius: 4px;" open> <summary> Thinking... </summary>好的,我现在需要帮助这位高三英语老师设计一个关于校园拍摄短视频的演讲稿写作指导。首先,我得仔细理解用户的需求。用户是经验丰富的老师,学生英语水平较高,均分130左右,作文在四档,需要提升到满分。任务分为四个步骤:审题分析、信息分解、布局谋篇、满分升级。用户希望每个步骤都详细执行,输出内容。
首先,审题分析。题目是演讲稿,关于校园内用手机拍摄短视频的现象,需要陈述看法和提出建议。文体是演讲稿,所以格式要注意开头称呼、结尾感谢,语言要口语化但正式,用词要激励性。人称应该是第一人称(I/we)和第二人称(you),时态以现在时为主,可能涉及现在完成时或情态动词。主题属于新课标三大主题中的“人与社会”,子话题是“科技与生活”,具体涉及“信息技术应用”和“校园生活”。核心词汇需要列出10个单词和10个短语,B1/B2难度。
接下来,信息分解。核心信息是现象描述、看法陈述、建议提出。需要分解这三个部分,使用10种分解方法中的几种。比如对比利弊,条理分解建议的不同层面,反向描述不行动的后果。然后为每个分解思路提供例句,注意高级句式和话题词汇。
布局谋篇部分需要将信息整合到演讲稿的结构中,分三段:引言、主体、结论。每段要明确功能句,如背景交代、过渡句、实质内容、总结句。需要列出每段的提纲,包括核心词汇和语法结构,并提供例句。
满分范文需要严格符合要求,结构清晰,语言精准,控制在110词左右。然后进行升级,优化词汇和句式,确保达到满分标准。
现在开始第一步审题分析。确定文体格式结构,演讲稿通常有问候语、正文、结尾感谢。语言风格要正式但亲切,适合演讲场合。人称使用第一人称复数(we)和第二人称(you)来拉近距离。时态主要是现在时,因为讨论当前现象。主题属于“人与社会”下的“科技与生活”,子话题是“信息技术应用”和“校园生活”。核心词汇要涵盖短视频、影响、建议等方面,比如creativity, distraction, guidelines等。
第二步信息分解,核心信息是现象、看法(利弊)、建议。分解方法可以用对比分解法分析利弊,条理分解法分学校和学生层面的建议,反向描述法说明不规范的后果。然后为每个分解点提供三个例句,使用高级结构如非谓语、条件句、对比结构等。
布局谋篇时,第一段介绍现象,过渡到看法;第二段分析利弊和建议;第三段总结呼吁。每段需要具体的高分句式和词汇,比如用非谓语结构开头,复合句,被动语态等。
满分范文需要简洁有力,结构分明,使用高级词汇但不过于复杂,确保逻辑连贯。升级时替换部分词汇为更精准的,调整句式结构增强流畅性,比如使用倒装或强调句。
可能遇到的问题包括如何平衡利弊分析,确保建议具体可行,以及如何在有限字数内有效表达。需要检查是否符合所有要求,如词数、格式、核心内容覆盖,避免遗漏任何部分。</details>### 第一步:审题分析
**1. 文体格式结构**
- **应用文类型**:演讲稿(Speech)
- **格式要求**:开头需有称呼语(如"Dear classmates"),结尾需有感谢语(如"Thank you"),语言需简洁、口语化、富有感染力。
- **语言风格**:正式但亲切,兼具说理性与号召力;使用第二人称(you)和第一人称复数(we)拉近距离。
- **时态**:一般现在时(陈述现象、利弊分析)、情态动词(提出建议)。
**2. 主题话题分析**
- **新课标主题语境**:**人与社会**(科技与生活)
- **子话题**:
- **信息技术应用**(filming short videos, digital creativity)
- **校园生活**(academic performance, campus culture)
- **细分子话题**:科技对学习的影响、学生行为规范、校园文化创新。
**3. 核心话题词汇(B1/B2难度)**
- **单词**:creativity(创造力), distraction(分心), guidelines(指引), prioritize(优先考虑), balance(平衡), phenomenon(现象), discipline(自律), privacy(隐私), innovation(创新), efficiency(效率)
- **短语**:capture moments(记录瞬间), academic commitments(学业任务), self-discipline(自律), time management(时间管理), ethical policies(道德规范), enhance expression(增强表达), invade privacy(侵犯隐私), disrupt routines(打乱常规), foster innovation(促进创新), address issues(解决问题)
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### 第二步:信息分解
**1. 核心信息提取**
- **现象描述**:学生用手机拍摄短视频(filming short videos, campus phenomenon)
- **看法陈述**:利弊并存(positive: creativity; negative: distraction)
- **建议提出**:行为规范(suggestions: time limits, content guidelines)
**2. 信息分解思路与语料**
**2.1 对比分解法(对比短视频的利弊)**
- **积极面**:培养创造力(enhance creative expression)、记录校园生活(document campus life)
- **消极面**:干扰学习(disrupt study routines)、侵犯隐私(invade personal privacy)
- **句式参考**:
- While filming short videos serves as a creative outlet, it simultaneously poses risks to students' focus.
(对比结构:While... simultaneously...)
- The trend of capturing campus moments, though innovative, may inadvertently lead to neglected academic responsibilities.
(让步状语从句:though...)
- Videos showcasing school events can foster community spirit, yet excessive filming often distracts from classroom engagement.
(并列对比:yet...)
**2.2 条理分解法(按建议主体分解)**
- **学校层面**:制定指引(establish clear guidelines)
- **学生层面**:自我约束(exercise self-discipline)
- **句式参考**:
- Schools are advised to formulate ethical policies, whereas students ought to prioritize academic commitments.
(并列对比结构:whereas...)
- Collaborative efforts between educators and learners—such as setting filming zones—can harmonize creativity with discipline.
(插入语补充说明:such as...)
- Balancing digital expression with study efficiency requires both institutional support and individual responsibility.
(动名词主语:Balancing...)
**2.3 反向描述法(假设不规范的后果)**
- **反说后果**:若放任现象→学业下滑(deteriorating grades)、人际冲突(interpersonal conflicts)
- **句式参考**:
- Failure to address this issue may result in a vicious cycle of procrastination and declining academic performance.
(条件状语从句:Failure to... may...)
- Without proper guidelines, the pursuit of viral content could overshadow the essence of education.
(介词短语开头:Without...)
- Ignoring privacy boundaries might not only strain friendships but also tarnish the school’s reputation.
(递进结构:not only... but also...)
---
### 第三步:布局谋篇
**1. 文体特征概括**
- **格式**:称呼语+正文(三段式)+结尾感谢语
- **语言布局**:逻辑清晰,过渡自然,句式多样
**2. 段落分解**
**第一段(背景交代+过渡句)**
- **核心信息**:现象描述→过渡到利弊分析
- **高分语法结构**:
1. 非谓语动词作主语(Filming... has become...)
2. 让步状语从句(While...)
3. 同位语(a trend that...)
- **核心词汇**:phenomenon, creativity, distraction, capture moments, academic commitments
- **写作示例**:
1. Filming short videos on campus, **a trend that blends technology with creativity**, has sparked heated debates. (同位语)
2. While capturing memorable moments is undeniably appealing, **we must weigh its impact on academic priorities**. (让步状语从句)
**第二段(实质内容句:利弊+建议)**
- **核心信息**:利弊对比→分层建议
- **高分语法结构**:
1. 倒装句(Not only does...)
2. 虚拟语气(It is crucial that...)
3. 定语从句(policies that...)
4. 分词结构(Balancing..., students should...)
- **核心词汇**:guidelines, self-discipline, time management, ethical policies, foster innovation
- **写作示例**:
1. **Not only does** filming enhance creative expression, **but it also risks** invading others’ privacy if unregulated. (倒装句)
2. **By establishing clear guidelines**, schools can ensure videos align with educational values. (分词结构)
3. Students **who prioritize time management** will find filming a tool for innovation, not distraction. (定语从句)
4. **Should we neglect self-discipline**, academic efficiency might be compromised. (虚拟条件句)
**第三段(归纳总结句)**
- **核心信息**:呼吁平衡与行动
- **高分语法结构**:
1. 祈使句(Let us...)
2. 比喻修辞(bridge between...)
- **核心词汇**:balance, responsibility, harmonious coexistence
- **写作示例**:
1. **Let us champion** a culture where creativity and responsibility coexist harmoniously. (祈使句+定语从句)
2. By striking this balance, we **transform smartphones from distractions into bridges** linking innovation and discipline. (比喻修辞)
---
### 第四步:打造参考范文
**优化建议**:
1. 强化利弊对比的逻辑衔接,增加过渡词(however, conversely)。
2. 建议部分细化分层(学校政策+学生行动)。
3. 精简冗余词汇,替换简单词为高阶表达(e.g., "make" → "formulate")。
**满分范文(110词)**:
**My Views on Filming Short Videos on Campus**
Dear classmates,
Filming short videos on campus, **a double-edged sword merging creativity and challenges**, demands our critical reflection. (背景句+隐喻) While these clips document vibrant school life, their unchecked use may erode academic focus. (对比分解法)
**To harness benefits**, schools should formulate filming zones and content guidelines. (条理分解法) Conversely, students must exercise self-discipline, reserving filming for breaks to safeguard study efficiency. (对比连接词+具体建议) Imagine if every video celebrated collective achievements rather than individual vanity—this subtle shift would foster unity. (反向描述法+假设句)
Let us transform smartphones into tools bridging innovation and responsibility. (比喻修辞) Only through balanced actions can we ensure videos enrich, not diminish, our campus spirit. (强调句)
Thank you!
---
### 第五步:满分范文升级
**优化反思**:
1. 替换通用词汇为精准表达(e.g., "use" → "unchecked use")。
2. 增加复合句提升逻辑密度(e.g., 插入语、分词结构)。
3. 强化结尾修辞(隐喻+呼吁)。
**升级版范文(108词)**:
**My Views on Filming Short Videos on Campus**
Dear classmates,
Filming short videos on campus, **a phenomenon intertwining innovation and dilemma**, invites nuanced evaluation. (背景句+高级词汇) While such clips creatively preserve memories, their excessive use risks distracting from academic missions. (对比分解法+抽象名词)
**To maximize gains**, schools ought to designate filming zones and issue content ethics. (条理分解法+精准动词) Students, conversely, should film sparingly—during breaks—to prioritize learning. (破折号补充+对比连接词) Consider this: videos highlighting group triumphs, not self-promotion, could cultivate communal pride. (反向描述法+命令式假设)
Let us wield cameras not as toys but as brushes painting responsibility alongside creativity. (隐喻+并列否定) By doing so, we craft a campus narrative where technology and discipline harmonize. (比喻修辞+定语从句)
Thank you!
**标注**:
1. 隐喻(brushes painting responsibility)
2. 定语从句(where technology... harmonize)
3. 抽象名词(evaluation, missions)
4. 精准动词(designate, issue)
5. 对比连接词(conversely)