好的,作为中国教育考试院认证的阅卷专家,我将按照您的要求,对这个写作任务进行分析、列纲、并打造和升级范文。
**Grade:** CSE4 (高一、高二、高三)
### 第一步:审题列提纲
**1.1 文体格式结构分析**
* **文体:** 邀请信 (Invitation Letter) - 属于应用文。
* **格式结构 (参考1.22邀请信框架并优化):**
1. **第一段 (开篇):** 问候 +提及对方兴趣 (背景)+ 点明写信目的 (发出邀请)。
2. **第二段 (主体):** 详细介绍活动信息 (展览主题、形式、内容) + 表达个人感受 (期待、兴奋)。
3. **第三段 (结尾):** 再次发出邀请 + 表达期待对方参加的愿望 + (可省略:提供进一步帮助或询问回复)。
* **语言风格:** 友好、热情、真诚。因为是写给朋友,所以可以适当口语化,但仍需保持一定的礼貌和清晰度。
* **人称:** 第一人称 ("I", "my") 和第二人称 ("you")。
* **时态:**
* 一般现在时: 描述Sarah的兴趣、表达自己的感受。
* 将来时 (will/be going to): 描述即将举办的展览。
* 现在完成时: (可能用于) 描述自己对展览的准备或了解。
**1.2 信息提取与整合优化**
* **核心信息点 (直接信息):**
1. 写信人:李华
2. 收信人:美国朋友Sarah
3. Sarah的兴趣:中国传统文化,尤其是服饰。
4. 事件:学校将举办一场线上中国传统服饰展览。
5. 展览主题:“锦绣中华” (Splendid China)。
6. 写作目的:邀请Sarah在线观看。
7. 内容要点:展览信息、个人感受、邀请参加。
* **背景信息/隐藏信息 (可适当挖掘):**
* 展览的具体内容可能包括不同朝代的服饰、服饰的象征意义等 (可用于丰富“展览信息”和“个人感受”)。
* 线上展览的便利性 (Sarah在美国也能参加)。
* 李华对此次展览的期待和自豪感。
* **信息整合优化后的逻辑顺序:**
1. 开门见山,提及Sarah对中国服饰的兴趣,引出邀请。
2. 介绍线上展览的具体情况:名称、主题、形式、大致内容。
3. 分享自己对这个展览的积极感受和看法,以及为什么认为Sarah会喜欢。
4. 正式发出邀请,并表达希望她能参加的愿望。
**1.3 布局谋篇 (结合信息分解方法和句式示例)**
**第一段: (问候 + 活动背景引入 + 发出初步邀请)**
* 功能句:背景交代句 + 过渡句 (引出写信目的)
* 信息分解:
* 问候Sarah,提及她对中国传统服饰的兴趣 (具体内容描述法)。
* 引出学校将举办线上展览,并初步表达邀请意愿 (背景描述法)。
* 话题词汇:**traditional Chinese culture, costumes, keen interest, online exhibition, invite**
* 示例1 (具体内容描述法 + 背景描述法;*定语从句,现在分词作伴随状语*): **Knowing your keen interest in** Chinese traditional culture, especially costumes, I’m **writing with great excitement** to tell you about an upcoming online exhibition **that I believe you’ll adore**. (*知道你对中国传统文化,尤其是服饰抱有浓厚兴趣,我怀着激动的心情写信告诉你一个即将举行的线上展览,我相信你会非常喜欢。*)
* 示例2 (背景描述法 + 具体内容描述法;*with复合结构,宾语从句*): I hope this email finds you well. **With our school hosting** an online exhibition on traditional Chinese costumes soon, I immediately thought of you and **how much you appreciate** such cultural displays. (*希望你一切安好。我们学校很快要举办一个关于中国传统服饰的线上展览,我立刻就想到了你,以及你对这类文化展示的欣赏程度。*)
**第二段: (展览信息 + 个人感受)**
* 功能句:实质内容句/段 (详细信息 + 个人情感)
* 信息分解:
* 展览名称“锦绣中华”,形式 (线上),内容 (展示各种传统服饰) (具体列举+描述法)。
* 个人感受:激动、自豪,认为这对Sarah来说是个好机会 (意义功能展望法)。
* 话题词汇:**themed "Splendid China", showcase, diverse, traditional garments, dynasties, intricate designs, cultural richness, fascinating, wonderful opportunity**
* 示例1 (具体列举+描述法;*非谓语动词作定语,宾语从句*): The exhibition, **themed "Splendid China,"** will **be held online**, **showcasing** a stunning array of traditional Chinese costumes from different dynasties, **many of which feature intricate designs and rich symbolism**. I’m **particularly thrilled** about this event as it’s a fantastic way to display our cultural heritage. (*这个展览主题是“锦绣中华”,将在线上举行,展示来自不同朝代的一系列令人惊叹的中国传统服饰,其中许多都具有复杂的设计和丰富的象征意义。我对这次活动感到特别兴奋,因为这是展示我们文化遗产的绝佳方式。*)
* 示例2 (意义功能展望法 + 具体内容描述法;*原因状语从句,what引导的主语从句*): I feel **incredibly proud** that our school is organizing this, **as it offers a wonderful window into the beauty and history of Chinese attire**. **What I think you’ll find most captivating** is the chance to see the evolution of these garments and understand their cultural significance. (*我为我们学校组织这次活动感到无比自豪,因为它为我们提供了一个了解中国服饰之美和历史的绝佳窗口。我认为你会觉得最吸引人的是有机会看到这些服装的演变并理解它们的文化意义。*)
**第三段: (再次邀请 + 表达期待)**
* 功能句:归纳总结句 (重申邀请 + 展望)
* 信息分解:
* 正式且热情地邀请Sarah参加 (条理分解法)。
* 表达希望她能接受邀请并享受展览 (意义功能展望法)。
* 话题词汇:**cordially invite, join us, enjoy, visual feast, look forward to**
* 示例1 (条理分解法 + 意义功能展望法;*if条件状语从句,不定式作目的状语*): I **sincerely hope you can join us** for this online visual feast. **It would be wonderful if you could make it**, and I’m sure you’ll **gain a deeper appreciation** for our traditional clothing. (*我真心希望你能参加我们的这场线上视觉盛宴。如果你能来就太好了,我相信你会对我们的传统服装有更深的理解。*)
* 示例2 (条理分解法 + 意义功能展望法;*强调句型,祈使句表达强烈愿望*): So, please **do consider this my formal invitation** to witness the splendor of Chinese costumes. I **eagerly look forward to you experiencing** this unique cultural journey with us. (*所以,请务必将此视为我邀请你见证中国服饰之美的正式邀请。我热切期待你能和我们一起体验这场独特的文化之旅。*)
**1.4 新课标主题语境与教材链接**
* **主题语境:** 人与社会 (Man and Society)
* **主题群:** 2.3 历史社会与文化 (History, Society, and Culture)
* **子话题:** 2.36 不同民族文化习俗与传统节日 (Cultural Customs and Traditional Festivals of Different Ethnic Groups) (服饰是文化习俗的重要组成部分) 或 2.32 物质与非物质文化遗产 (Material and Intangible Cultural Heritage) (传统服饰可视为一种文化遗产)。
* **教材链接:**
* **人教B3U3 Diverse Cultures:** 该单元探讨不同文化,如 "*WELCOME TO CHINATOWN!*" 和 "*Rediscovering San Francisco: A Journey Through History and Culture*",都涉及到文化元素的展示和体验,与服饰作为文化载体相关。
* **译林B2U3 Festivals and customs:** 该单元的 "*A precious family dinner*" 或 "*Alex around the world*" 涉及不同文化背景下的习俗,服饰往往是这些习俗的重要体现。
* **外研B2U2 Let's Celebrate:** 节庆活动通常与特定服饰相关,该单元的 "*THE REAL FATHER CHRISTMAS*" 或 "*Time for a Change?*" (讨论春节) 间接关联到文化服饰。
### 任务二:打造并升级参考范文
**第一步:打造参考范文**
Dear Sarah,
***S1*** **Knowing your great interest in** Chinese traditional culture, especially costumes, I’m **writing with excitement** to invite you to an online exhibition. ***S2*** Our school **is hosting** an event **themed "Splendid China,"** ***S3*** **which will showcase** a variety of traditional Chinese garments. (<em>段落功能:问候,提及对方兴趣,引出活动并发出邀请;信息分解方法:具体内容描述法+背景描述法</em>)
***S4*** I’m **so thrilled** about this exhibition **because** it’s a fantastic way to display the **richness** of our culture, and I **believe** you’ll find it **truly fascinating**. ***S5*** You’ll **get to see** beautiful designs and learn about the stories behind these amazing costumes **from different historical periods**. ***S6*** It’s a **wonderful opportunity** to explore this aspect of Chinese heritage online. (<em>段落功能:介绍展览细节和个人感受;信息分解方法:具体列举+描述法+意义功能展望法</em>)
***S7*** I **sincerely hope** you can join us for this special event. ***S8*** I’m **sure** it will be a delightful experience for you, and I **eagerly look forward to** your virtual presence! (<em>段落功能:再次邀请并表达期待;信息分解方法:条理分解法</em>)
Yours,
Li Hua
(118 words | 蓝思值: 约850L | CEFR: B1)
**第二步:优化升级**
@S1→ Knowing your great interest in Chinese traditional culture, especially costumes, I’m writing with excitement to invite you to an online exhibition. (*原句表述清晰,但"with excitement"可更生动*)
* 优化1→ **Knowing your keen interest in** Chinese traditional culture, particularly costumes, I’m **thrilled to share an invitation** to an upcoming online exhibition. (*将great interest改为keen interest,particularly替换especially使表达更精确,thrilled to share an invitation更具感染力*)
* 优化2→ **Given your profound fascination with** Chinese traditional culture, and **your special appreciation for costumes**, I’m **absolutely delighted to extend an invitation** to an upcoming online exhibition. (*使用profound fascination, special appreciation, absolutely delighted to extend an invitation,使语气更强烈,表达更正式和热情*)
@S2→ Our school is hosting an event themed "Splendid China,"
* 优化1→ Our school **will be presenting** an online exhibition **themed "Splendid China,"** (*使用will be presenting更正式,online exhibition点明形式*)
* 优化2→ Our school **is set to host** a captivating online exhibition **entitled "Splendid China,"** (*is set to host强调计划性,captivating增加吸引力,entitled替换themed更书面化*)
@S3→ which will showcase a variety of traditional Chinese garments.
* 优化1→ **which promises to showcase** a diverse array of traditional Chinese garments. (*promises to showcase 预示精彩,diverse array of 词组更丰富*)
* 优化2→ **an event meticulously curated to showcase** a stunning collection of traditional Chinese garments **spanning various dynasties**. (*meticulously curated to showcase强调精心策划,stunning collection of...spanning various dynasties信息更丰富,更具吸引力*)
@S4→ I’m so thrilled about this exhibition because it’s a fantastic way to display the richness of our culture, and I believe you’ll find it truly fascinating.
* 优化1→ I’m **particularly excited** about this exhibition **as** it’s a fantastic way to display our cultural **heritage**, and I **truly believe** you’ll find it **captivating**. (*particularly excited更强调,heritage替换richness of our culture更准确,captivating替换fascinating*)
* 优化2→ I’m **personally very enthusiastic** about this exhibition, **for it represents** a splendid opportunity to illuminate the **depth and beauty** of our cultural **heritage**; I’m **convinced** you’ll find it **utterly captivating**. (*personally very enthusiastic语气更强,for it represents更书面,illuminate the depth and beauty of our cultural heritage表达更深刻,convinced和utterly captivating程度更深*)
@S5→ You’ll get to see beautiful designs and learn about the stories behind these amazing costumes from different historical periods.
* 优化1→ You’ll **have the chance to admire** beautiful designs and **discover** the stories behind these amazing costumes from different historical periods. (*have the chance to admire/discover替换get to see/learn about,更正式*)
* 优化2→ You’ll **be able to explore** intricate designs, **delve into** the compelling narratives behind these exquisite costumes, and **witness their evolution across** different historical periods. (*explore intricate designs, delve into compelling narratives, witness their evolution across... 信息更丰富,用词更高级*)
@S6→ It’s a wonderful opportunity to explore this aspect of Chinese heritage online.
* 优化1→ It’s a **truly wonderful opportunity** to explore this facet of Chinese heritage **conveniently online**. (*truly wonderful强调,facet替换aspect,conveniently online点出线上优势*)
* 优化2→ This presents a **genuinely remarkable opportunity** for you to **immerse yourself in** this vibrant facet of Chinese heritage, all from the comfort of your home. (*genuinely remarkable opportunity更强调,immerse yourself in更生动,all from the comfort of your home点明线上便利性*)
@S7→ I sincerely hope you can join us for this special event.
* 优化1→ I **would be delighted if you could join us** for this special online event. (*would be delighted if...更委婉客气*)
* 优化2→ I **cordially invite you to join us** for this unique cultural showcase and **sincerely hope you’ll be able to attend**. (*cordially invite更正式,unique cultural showcase提升活动档次,sincerely hope you'll be able to attend表达更完整*)
@S8→ I’m sure it will be a delightful experience for you, and I eagerly look forward to your virtual presence!
* 优化1→ I’m **confident** it will be a delightful experience, and I **very much look forward to your virtual presence**! (*confident替换sure,very much look forward to加强语气*)
* 优化2→ I **have no doubt** it will prove to be an enriching and delightful experience, and **we would all be thrilled to welcome your virtual presence**! (*have no doubt更肯定,enriching and delightful体验更丰富,we would all be thrilled to welcome...更热情*)
### 任务三:满分范文升级
Dear Sarah,
***S1*** **Given your profound fascination with** Chinese traditional culture, and **your special appreciation for costumes**, I’m **absolutely delighted to extend an invitation** to an upcoming online exhibition. ***S2*** Our school **is set to host** a captivating online exhibition **entitled "Splendid China,"** ***S3*** **an event meticulously curated to showcase** a stunning collection of traditional Chinese garments **spanning various dynasties**. (<em>段落功能:热情问候,点出对方浓厚兴趣,正式发出邀请并介绍展览概况;信息分解方法:具体内容描述法 + 背景描述法;运用了高级词汇和非谓语结构,使开篇更具吸引力</em>)
***S4*** I’m **personally very enthusiastic** about this exhibition, **for it represents** a splendid opportunity to illuminate the **depth and beauty** of our cultural **heritage**; I’m **convinced** you’ll find it **utterly captivating**. ***S5*** You’ll **be able to explore** intricate designs, **delve into** the compelling narratives behind these exquisite costumes, and **witness their evolution across** different historical periods. ***S6*** This presents a **genuinely remarkable opportunity** for you to **immerse yourself in** this vibrant facet of Chinese heritage, all from the comfort of your home. (<em>段落功能:详述展览亮点和个人强烈感受,强调其文化价值和对Sarah的吸引力;信息分解方法:具体列举+描述法 + 意义功能展望法;运用了for引导的原因状语从句、平行结构及高级动词,增强了表达的深度和生动性</em>)
***S7*** I **cordially invite you to join us** for this unique cultural showcase and **sincerely hope you’ll be able to attend**. ***S8*** I **have no doubt** it will prove to be an enriching and delightful experience, and **we would all be thrilled to welcome your virtual presence**! (<em>段落功能:再次郑重邀请,表达热切期盼及活动的美好展望;信息分解方法:条理分解法 + 意义功能展望法;语言正式、热情,富有感染力</em>)
Yours,
Li Hua
(119 words | 蓝思值: 约1000L-1050L | CEFR: B1+ to B2-)