<details style="color:gray;background-color: #f8f8f8;padding: 8px;border-radius: 4px;" open> <summary> Thinking... </summary>**Reflecting on Constraints**
I've begun by considering the specific constraints of this task: a Chinese education context is key. I'm focusing on aligning my grading approach with the demands of the Chinese 高考 (Gaokao) English writing exam. I'm building a grading rubric and a framework that would work best.
**Evaluating Prompt Requirements**
My initial assessment is complete. I've broken down the prompt's structure, format, and style requirements. Now, I'm focusing on the language demands and ensuring vocabulary aligns with Gaokao standards. I'm building a framework to systematically evaluate various aspects, from grammatical accuracy to overall coherence. The challenge lies in crafting a rubric that's both comprehensive and efficient for real-world application.
**Decomposing the Prompt**
I've completed the initial analysis of the prompt, confirming its structure, format, and style: a reply letter in an informal tone. I've broken down the content requirements, deciding on "Wang Ping," a hypothetical table tennis player. Now, I'm focusing on curriculum alignment, ensuring my outline reflects Gaokao standards, especially in vocabulary and grammatical structures. I'm building out information for the athlete intro and the impact section.
**Developing the Athlete's Persona**
I've moved on to fleshing out "Wang Ping," the fictional table tennis player. I'm focusing on crafting a compelling athlete profile: achievements at the Paris Olympics, notable personal qualities, and a concise summary. The goal is to make the athlete's story both inspirational and appropriate for a high school student's perspective. I'm aiming for a balance of impressive achievements and relatable character traits to fuel the "impact" section of the essay.
**Finalizing Prompt Analysis**
Having assessed the constraints and formulated a plan, I've confirmed that the analysis is comprehensive. I've set up my mental sandbox, and I'm prepared to create the model essay. I've chosen "Chen Yue," a fictional swimmer, for the athlete introduction and impact. I've chosen to move ahead with the model essay and annotation process. I'm now certain I can begin to provide the required prompt analysis and model essay. I will use the established framework and carefully implement all vocabulary and language controls.
**Developing the Model Essay**
I've completed my preliminary analysis. I'm choosing "Chen Yue," a swimmer, and creating a B1+ level essay. I'll focus on demonstrating vocabulary control within the required parameters. The model essay will highlight achievements and personal qualities to create a relatable impact. I've formulated strategies for the introduction, athlete description, and impact sections.
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好的，作为中国教育考试院认证的阅卷专家，我将严格按照您的要求，对题目进行审题列提纲，并打造升级参考范文。
**第一步：审题列提纲**
**1.1 文体格式结构分析**
* **文体**：回信 (Reply Letter) - 应用文的一种。
* **格式**：包含称呼 (Dear Jim,)、正文、以及结尾署名 (Yours, Li Hua)。开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。
* **结构**：
1. 引言段：回应Jim的邮件，引出话题（介绍最喜欢的运动员）。
2. 主体段：介绍运动员（包括其项目、主要成就或特点），并阐述该运动员对“我”的影响。
3. 结尾段：简短作结，可再次表达情感或期待。
* **语言风格**：非正式、友好、真诚。因为是写给朋友的信。
* **人称**：第一人称 (“I”, “my”) 和第三人称 (“he/she”, “his/her”)。
* **时态**：
* 介绍运动员的背景和常规情况：一般现在时。
* 描述运动员在巴黎奥运会上的具体表现或事迹：一般过去时。
* 阐述运动员对“我”现在的影响：一般现在时或现在完成时。
* （理由：根据描述的内容——背景信息、已发生的事件、以及持续至今的影响——来确定合适的时态。）
**1.2 信息提取与整合优化**
**1.2.1 核心信息点 (直接信息点):**
1. 写信人：李华 (红星中学高三学生)。
2. 收信人：英国朋友 Jim。
3. 背景：Jim 提及中国运动员在巴黎奥运会闪耀，并询问李华最喜欢的运动员。
4. 写作任务1：简要介绍该运动员。
5. 写作任务2：阐述该运动员对“我”的影响。
6. 词数要求：100词左右。
**1.2.2 背景信息及其隐藏信息 (间接信息点/可拓展内容):**
1. 隐藏信息1：巴黎奥运会刚刚结束或正在进行中，中国运动员表现出色 (可以引出对某位运动员突出表现的赞赏)。
2. 隐藏信息2：Jim 对中国文化或体育感兴趣 (回信时可以更热情地分享)。
3. 隐藏信息3：选择的运动员应具有典型性或能代表某种积极精神 (如拼搏、坚持、爱国等)，这样“对我的影响”才更有说服力。
4. 隐藏信息4：作为高三学生，运动员的影响可以与学习、成长、面对挑战等方面联系起来。
**1.3 对1.2中信息整合优化后的文章逻辑框架:**
1. **开篇回应与引出话题**: 感谢Jim的来信，自然过渡到要介绍自己最喜欢的运动员。
2. **介绍运动员**:
* 运动员的基本信息 (例如：姓名，参与的项目)。
* 在巴黎奥运会上的突出表现或关键事迹 (例如：获得奖牌，展现出的体育精神等)。
3. **阐述影响**:
* 运动员的精神品质如何激励了“我” (例如：毅力、专注、永不放弃)。
* 这种激励如何在学习或生活中体现出来 (例如：面对困难时的态度转变，努力提升自我等)。
**1.4 布局谋篇 (结合信息分解方法与示例)**
**第一段: (背景交代 + 过渡)**
* **功能**: 感谢Jim的来信，回应他对中国运动员的关注，并引出自己要介绍的特定运动员。
* **信息分解思路**:
* 背景交代：回应Jim邮件中关于中国运动员在巴黎奥运会表现优异的提及。
* 过渡衔接：说明自己也有特别钦佩的运动员，并准备介绍。
* **话题词汇**: **delighted** (高兴的), **share** (分享), **shining performance** (出色表现), **favorite** (最喜欢的), **athlete** (运动员), **impressed** (印象深刻的).
* **示例1**: **It’s great to hear from you and I’m so delighted** to know you’re interested in Chinese athletes’ **shining performance** at the Paris Olympics. **Among all the brilliant competitors, the one who impressed me most is** Sun Yang, a talented swimmer. (背景描述法 + 具体列举法；*翻译→很高兴收到你的来信，得知你对中国运动员在巴黎奥运会上的出色表现感兴趣，我感到非常高兴。在所有优秀的选手中，给我留下最深刻印象的是游泳运动员孙杨。*)
* **示例2**: **Thanks for your email! It's exciting to see** Chinese athletes doing so well in Paris. **You asked about my favorite, and I’d love to tell you about** Zhang Ning, a badminton player **whose determination is truly inspiring**. (背景描述法 + 同类内容延展法 + 定语从句；*翻译→谢谢你的邮件！看到中国运动员在巴黎表现如此出色，真是令人兴奋。你问到了我最喜欢的运动员，我很乐意向你介绍羽毛球运动员张宁，她的决心真的很鼓舞人心。*)
* **示例3**: **I was thrilled to receive your email discussing** the remarkable achievements of Chinese athletes in Paris. **Speaking of favorites, I must mention** diving queen Guo Jingjing, **who perfectly embodies the Olympic spirit**. (背景描述法 + 具体内容描述法 + 定语从句；*翻译→收到你讨论中国运动员在巴黎取得的卓越成就的邮件，我感到非常激动。说到最喜欢的运动员，我必须提及跳水女皇郭晶晶，她完美地体现了奥林匹克精神。*)
**第二段: (主体段：介绍运动员 + 阐述影响)**
* **功能**: 详细介绍所选运动员，并说明其对自己产生的积极影响。这是信件的核心内容。
* **信息分解思路**:
* 介绍运动员：运用“具体内容描述法”或“具体列举+描述法”，介绍运动员的项目、主要成就或在比赛中的关键表现。
* 阐述影响：运用“意义功能展望法”或“经验、惯例引入法”，说明运动员的精神品质如何激励自己，以及这种激励在个人学习、生活中的具体体现。
* **话题词汇**: **excel in** (擅长于), **gold medal** (金牌), **broke the record** (打破纪录), **perseverance** (毅力), **dedication** (奉献), **overcome difficulties** (克服困难), **inspired me to** (激励我去做), **never give up** (永不放弃), **role model** (榜样), **determination** (决心).
* **介绍运动员示例**:
* **示例1**: **She is a young table tennis player who** **won a gold medal** in the women's singles. **What amazed everyone was not just her victory, but her calm and focus under immense pressure**, especially during the final match. (具体列举+描述法 + what引导的主语从句 + 强调结构；*翻译→她是一位年轻的乒乓球运动员，在女子单打项目中获得了一枚金牌。令所有人惊叹的不仅是她的胜利，更是在巨大压力下，尤其是在决赛中，她所展现出的冷静与专注。*)
* **示例2**: **He specializes in the 100-meter sprint and spectacularly** **claimed the championship** this year. **It was his incredible burst of speed in the last 20 meters that** **left everyone breathless** and secured his win. (具体内容描述法 + It was...that...强调句型 + 结果状语；*翻译→他专项是100米短跑，今年他出色地夺得了冠军。正是他在最后20米那令人难以置信的爆发速度，让所有人都屏住了呼吸，并为他锁定了胜局。*)
* **阐述影响示例**:
* **示例1**: **Her unwavering perseverance and dedication to training, often pushing through injuries, have deeply** **inspired me to** **tackle my studies with similar determination**. **Whenever I face challenges, I remember her spirit and tell myself to never give up**. (意义功能展望法 + 宾语从句；*翻译→她坚定不移的毅力和对训练的投入，常常是带伤坚持，这些都深深地激励我以同样的决心来对待我的学习。每当我遇到挑战时，我都会想起她的精神，并告诉自己永不放弃。*)
* **示例2**: **Watching him overcome setbacks and consistently strive for excellence** **has taught me the importance of resilience**. **Now, I approach my own goals, whether in sports or academics, with a more positive and persistent attitude, understanding that success often comes after hard work and facing adversity**. (经验、惯例引入法 + 分词作状语 + 宾语从句 + 抽象名词具体化；*翻译→看着他克服挫折并持续追求卓越，教会了我坚韧不拔的重要性。现在，我以更积极、更执着的态度去追求我自己的目标，无论是在体育还是学业上，因为我明白成功往往来自于努力工作和直面逆境。*)
**第三段: (结语段：总结与展望)**
* **功能**: 简要总结运动员带来的积极影响，或再次表达对运动员的敬佩，并自然结束邮件。
* **信息分解思路**:
* 归纳总结：再次强调运动员精神的价值。
* 友好作结：期待与Jim继续交流等。
* **话题词汇**: **truly** (真正地), **admire** (钦佩), **valuable lesson** (宝贵的一课), **positive impact** (积极影响), **look forward to** (期待).
* **示例1**: **Her story is a powerful reminder that with hard work and a strong mindset, anything is possible. I hope this gives you a better picture of why she’s my favorite.** (意义功能展望法 + 宾语从句；*翻译→她的故事有力地提醒我们，只要努力并拥有强大的心态，一切皆有可能。我希望这能让你更好地理解为什么她是我最喜欢的运动员。*)
* **示例2**: **He’s more than just an athlete to me; he’s a true inspiration. I’m sure there are many more such inspiring stories from the Games!** (同类内容延展法；*翻译→对我而言，他不仅仅是一名运动员；他是一个真正的激励者。我相信奥运会上还有更多这样鼓舞人心的故事！*)
* **示例3**: **This spirit of striving for the best is what I admire most and try to learn from. Let me know your thoughts too!** (背景描述法 + 祈使句；*翻译→这种追求卓越的精神是我最钦佩并努力学习的。也让我知道你的想法吧！*)
**1.5 新课标主题语境**
* **主题语境**: 人与社会 (People and Society)
* **主题群**: 文学、艺术与体育 (Literature, Art, and Sports)
* **子话题**: 体育活动、大型体育赛事、体育与健康、体育精神 (Sports activities, major sports events, sports and health, sportsmanship)
* **教材链接**:
* **外研版 (Compulsory Book 2) Unit 3 `On the move`** (例如：*Running into a Better Life*, *A Game for the World*)
* **人教版 (Compulsory Book 1) Unit 3 `Sports and Fitness`** (例如：*LIVING LEGENDS* - 介绍了郎平和迈克尔·乔丹的体育成就和体育精神)
* **译林版 (Compulsory Book 2) Unit 2 `Be sporty, be healthy`** (例如：*The Olympic Games*)
* **外研版 (Selective Compulsory Book 1) Unit 3 `Faster, higher, stronger`** (例如：*THE ROAD TO SUCCESS* - NBA球员斯蒂芬·库里、成功之路, *The Return of the Champions* - 中国女排里约奥运夺冠)
**维度四：核心英文话题词汇 (CSE4, CEFR B1-B1+)**
**单词 (Words):**
1. **athlete** (运动员)
2. **performance** (表现)
3. **spirit** (精神)
4. **victory** (胜利)
5. **champion** (冠军)
6. **inspire** (激励)
7. **determination** (决心)
8. **achieve** (取得)
9. **challenge** (挑战)
10. **admire** (钦佩)
**短语 (Phrases):**
1. **gold medal** (金牌)
2. **break a record** (打破纪录)
3. **Paris Olympics** (巴黎奥运会)
4. **role model** (榜样)
5. **never give up** (永不放弃)
6. **strive for** (为……而努力)
7. **overcome difficulties** (克服困难)
8. **proud of** (为……感到骄傲)
9. **shining example** (光辉榜样)
10. **push oneself** (鞭策自己)
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**任务二：打造并升级参考范文**
**第一步：打造参考范文**
Dear Jim,
I’m **so glad** to hear from you and **excited** that you’re following the Chinese athletes at the Paris Olympics! You asked about my favorite, and I’d love to share. **Among the many outstanding athletes, swimmer Zhang Yufei impressed me most.** (背景交代句+过渡句，引出介绍对象) (段落功能：开篇点题，回应邮件并引出下文；信息分解方法：背景描述法)
Zhang Yufei **excelled** in butterfly events, **winning** two gold medals with her **incredible** speed and skill. **What truly inspires me, however, is not just her medals, but her unwavering perseverance.** She faced setbacks before but **never gave up**, always training hard. Her **dedication** has taught me that **consistent effort is key to achieving goals**, and her spirit **encourages me to keep pushing forward** when I meet difficulties in my studies. (实质内容句，介绍运动员及其影响，并阐述理由) (段落功能：主体段落，介绍运动员的成就和品质，并阐述其对作者的影响；信息分解方法：具体列举+描述法，意义功能展望法)
She is a **true inspiration** and a **wonderful role model** for us young people. I hope you find her story interesting too! (归纳总结句，再次点明影响并友好结束) (段落功能：结尾段，总结观点并表达希望；信息分解方法：经验、惯例引入法)
Yours,
Li Hua
*(约109词 | 蓝思值估算: 850L-950L | CEFR: B1/B1+ | 话题词汇密度较高)*
**第二步：满分范文升级**
Dear Jim,
It’s **fantastic** to hear from you, and I’m **thrilled** you’re so engaged with the Chinese athletes’ **remarkable performances** at the Paris Olympics! You inquired about my favorite, and I’m eager to share. **Among numerous shining stars, the swimmer Quan Hongchan captured my admiration most.** (背景交代句+过渡句，语言更生动，引出介绍对象更自然) (段落功能：开篇点题，回应邮件并引出下文；信息分解方法：背景描述法)
Quan Hongchan, a young diver, **astonished** the world by **securing** a gold medal with several perfect scores. **Beyond her flawless dives, it’s her extraordinary resilience and dedication that deeply resonate with me.** She overcame immense pressure and consistently **demonstrated** incredible focus. Her journey **underscores** the vital lesson that **persistent hard work paves the way to success**. This **motivates me to confront my academic challenges with renewed determination** and to **embrace** every obstacle as a chance to grow. (实质内容句，词汇和句式升级，信息更具体，影响阐述更深刻) (段落功能：主体段落，介绍运动员的成就和品质，并阐述其对作者的影响；信息分解方法：具体列举+描述法，意义功能展望法)
She’s a **genuine beacon of inspiration** and a **superb role model** for all of us. I trust her story will fascinate you as well! (归纳总结句，用词更高级，表达更流畅) (段落功能：结尾段，总结观点并表达希望；信息分解方法：经验、惯例引入法)
Yours,
Li Hua
*(约115词 | 蓝思值估算: 900L-1000L | CEFR: B1+ | 话题词汇密度高，语言表达更精准地道)*
**批注 (针对升级后的满分范文):**
* **高级语法结构运用**:
* 现在分词作伴随状语: "...**securing** a gold medal..."
* 强调结构: "**Beyond her flawless dives, it’s her extraordinary resilience and dedication that deeply resonate with me.**" (介词短语置于句首，后接it is...that...强调句型的主体部分)
* 宾语从句: "...underscores **the vital lesson that persistent hard work paves the way to success**."
* 不定式作目的状语: "...motivates me **to confront** my academic challenges... and **to embrace** every obstacle..."
* **信息分解方式**:
* **第一段**: 背景描述法 (回应邮件提及的奥运会背景)。
* **第二段**:
* 介绍运动员成就: 具体列举+描述法 (列举获得金牌和完美得分的事实，描述其跳水表现)。
* 阐述运动员品质及影响: 意义功能展望法 (阐述其坚韧和专注品质带来的深刻启示，以及如何激励自己在学业上克服困难、视挑战为成长机会)。
* **第三段**: 经验、惯例引入法 (将运动员视为榜样，总结其鼓舞人心的作用)。